Visions of Vanessa

I was named after Vanessa Redgrave. I like to believe this cemented my interest in film. I am very much a cinephile. I love things being shown to me in ways I have never seen before. I lean towards things that are less than mainstream. Independent movies directed by emotional sadists like Lars Von Trier, Michael Haneke, and Todd Solondz. I want to live in a world created by Wes Anderson. I don't like to travel, so I learn about other cultures through foreign films.

  I was raised in a small town in Oregon. This probably explains why I gravitate towards Folk/Americana music, and shows like Portlandia. I was raised in a very strict religion. While I do not practice it anymore, I still have strong spiritual beliefs. I would describe myself as a Theistic Existentialist. I enjoy philosophy very much, and if I had to choose a personal life philosophy it would be Epistemological Solipsism.

  I have a few issues, but I am very self-aware. My Myers-Briggs is INFJ. I am very interested in Psychology. I am an introvert, but a talkative one. It is just very draining for me to be around big groups of people for extended periods of time. I really enjoy my alone time to recharge. I have some social anxiety issues, so I like to limit my social interaction to small groups of people. I am also a highly sensitive person. My personality type is C.  I am very organized and detail-oriented. People with poor spelling and grammar rub me the wrong way, then I feel guilty for judging them, then I get mad at them for doing things that make me a judgmental person. I really value the 'proper' way of doing things. I have some obsessive-compulsive issues I am working through. Which might actually be masked controlling issues. 'The goal of spiritual development is not to learn to control our environment - which is more of an ego-driven desire.' This year I want to learn to handle annoyances more gracefully.

  I am a cerebral narcissist. It means a lot more to me if someone values my intellect, rather than my appearance. I enjoy self-involved people. As long as you follow my guidelines, you don't need to concern yourself about me. I like it when people focus on themselves and their own needs. I am a sapiosexual. I don't get turned on by physical touch. I do enjoy tickling on my skin, but just for relaxation purposes. What turns me on is intellectual stimulation. Especially if that intellect is coming from me...

Inside the Actor's Studio Questionnaire

1. What is your favorite word?

Schedule, the very thought of the word brings me joy. Specifically when said with a British pronunciation.

2. What is your least favorite word?

Any sort of racial slurs.

3. What turns you on?

Lists! Any sort of planning, accounting, or anything that feeds my OCD.

New information, especially trivia and information on entertainment (the creative process, not the celebrities).

Displays of gratuitous hipster-fuckery, filled with obscure references.

People who give good conversation.

Music that speaks to my soul, full of melancholy. The rhythm of "Maybe This Time".

My feet being touched. My skin being tickled.

Men together, like in "Stranger by the Lake".

Random nudity in non-sexual situations.

People having a natural moment with themselves, whether that be pleasuring themselves or just getting ready in the morning.

Deep voices and Tarantino style mouths. Accents.

Yaoi, androgyny, transsexuals, and hentai.

4. What turns you off?

My skin is not fond of any rough touching.

Crude people and vulgar sexual language directed at me.

Anal, or prostate play.

Tongues anywhere on my body.

When people cannot be troubled to spell words out fully and completely.

Tardiness and poor planning.

Genital piercings.

People trying to turn me on...I don't like anything that is trying to get a certain reaction from me.

When people use nicknames or terms of endearment.

5. What sound do you love?

That music in the theater right before the movie starts. Harmonicas. Acoustic Guitars. Acapella voices.

6. What sound do you hate?

Raised voices.

7. What is your favorite curse word?

Cunt. It sounds so raw, like a Cradle of Filth lyric. "Her cold cunt meat on holy bone."

"More. Whore. More. Twitching make me wet with thee, carcass rub me raw."

8. What profession other than yours would you like to try?

Therapist. Film Critic. Country Singer. Film Producer. Screenwriter.

9. What profession would you not like to do?

Police Officer, Military, or Politician.

10. If heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

"I forgive you."